Vivek’s Stuff

An old lady dies and goes to heaven. She is chatting to St. Peter at
the Pearly Gates when all of a sudden she hears the most awful
blood-curdling screams.

 "Don't worry about that," says St. Peter, "it's just someone having
the holes bored in their shoulder blades for the wings."

 The old lady looks a little uncomfortable but carries on with the conversation.

 Ten minutes later, there are more blood-curdling screams.

 "Oh my goodness," says the old lady, "now what's happening?"

 "Not to worry," says St. Peter, "they are just having their head
drilled to fit the halo."

 "I can't do this," says the old lady, "I'm off down to hell."

 ''You can't go there," says St. Peter, "you'll be raped and sodomized."

 "Maybe so," says the old lady, "but I've already got the holes for that!"